This is the biggest obstacle you will ever face and how to overcome it

This is the biggest obstacle you will ever face and how to overcome itThis is the biggest obstacle you will ever face and how to overcome itThe other night on Instagram Live, I was asked an interesting question by a good friend, Trent Shelton.Dean, whats the biggest obstacle youve had to overcome in your life?I spent a good amount of time thinking about it. Ive been broke. I lack a college education because I never had enough money to pay for one. My parents divorced and got back together multiple times during my childhood. I have dyslexia. I later went through my own divorce. Ive made mistakes in my career. The list goes on?- ?as it does for all of us.But which of all these challenges, I wondered, was the most difficult to overcome?Eventually, I came to a surprising answernone.The biggest obstacle Ive ever had to overcome in my life has actually been my own perspective?- ?the lies I used to tell myself about why I wasnt achieving my dreams.In fact, thats the biggest obstacleallof us face our own perspective. Its the most dangerous thing standing between you and the life you want to live.Heres how to overcome it.Use your obstacles as fuel rather than allowing them to become anchorsHeres the thing about your perspective youre in control over it.The best way to overcome your obstacles, then, is to convince yourself that theyre not actually scary, depressing, or limiting roadblocks designed to keep you down. Instead, theyre sources of energy and fuel you can use for inspiration. In this sense, we shouldwantto confront obstacles because theyll give us the inspiration we need to improve and be better versions of ourselves.Of course, making that kind of mental switch is difficult to do. Its difficult recognizing, in the moment, when your perspective is working against you?- ?let alone flipping it on its head to make it workforyou.You can start, though, by listening for when that little voice in your head says, If only that didnt happen, Id be so successfulIts that self-pity, that victimization, which holds us back and gives the obstacles we face their paralyzing power. Youmustcombat it. That starts with recognizing it for what it is. Only then can you use it as fuel. Consider the daughter who grows up with an alcoholic father, and later in life resolves to never drink.Thatsusing adversity as fuel to overcome the problem.If you really want to overcome obstacles, you have to prove your fears and if onlys are a lieThe truth about the challenges you face in your life is theyre only as strong as you allow them to be. That any one obstacle could be strong enough to completely ruin you is, itself, a lie.So are self-pitying statements like, If only this hadnt happened, I could have done X.The key to overcoming your obstacles, then, is identifying those stories and those excuses as lies. And lies, as it happens, are much easier to combat than things we perceive as absolute truths.Youre in control of the story of your lifeFor example, think about John Paul DeJoria. He didnt graduate high school. He had dyslexia. He got his girlfriend pregnant at a young age and made a living selling encyclopedias door-to-door. When his baby turned 21 months, his wife left him. Three months later, he and his daughter were homeless.Later that same year, he came up with a new way of selling hair products. He went on to create Vidal Sassoon. Later, he created Patron tequila, which is now the best-known tequila on the planet. Hes one of the richest men in the world.Or, consider another story. For this now well-known man, his teachers in high school told him he would never amount to anything. He was known as the dumbest kid in school. He dropped out in ninth grade.Now, hes one of the richest men on the planet. His name is Richard Branson.Both of these men could have accepted suboptimal stories for their lives. They could have cowered before the obstacles they encountered, believed the lies, and given in to something lesser. But they didnt. They took co ntrol of their perspective, used their obstacles as inspiration, and in turn became the authors of much different, more inspiring stories.I know in my life, as soon as I made the conscious effort to flip the script on the stories I was telling myself, I became the me I am today?- ?enthusiastic and inspired and confident.Sure, its harder to do this?- ?to combat the lies to use your obstacles as fuel?- ?but its worth it.Forecast out five years from now. Do you really want to be telling yourself the same story youre telling yourself today? The one that hints at all the things youcouldbe doing, if only things had gone differently?Absolutely not.This article was originally published on Quora.